My Social Skills Suck

I set a goal for myself at the beginning of the month: I resolved to meet at least one new person a week, in an attempt to build up my personal network. It is now nearly the end of the month, and I have met a total of 0 people. I was supposed to have a meeting at Starbucks today to meet a new person, but I didn’t feel like going outside.

I also didn’t know how to cancel the meeting.

I never learned how to properly let people down. Last time I had to cancel an appointment, I begged my boss to email the counterparty and fabricate an excuse about me being too busy to even write my own emails. Awkward, but effective. Last time I wanted to get rid of a boyfriend, I had to have Jenny do it for me. Even more awkward, but similarly effective.

They don’t teach this social interaction skillset in school. I can’t practice this on real people, because that’s scary. And I certainly can’t practice this with friends, because the ones I have are just as retarded as myself. That is why Bumpscientist Labs came up with Poca Bear. A non-intimidating anthropomorphic animal for developing social interaction skills without judgment!


I ended up canceling today’s meeting by using Warren as an excuse – I said Warren was sick and I needed to take him to the hospital (sorry, Warren).

I think I finally found a good reason to have kids.


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