Give Freely

Alfie needed to offload a last-minute plane ticket from SFO to Copenhagen. He had planned a trip with his brother, but his brother bailed. Being the wonderful and well-connected person that I am, I put him in touch with another friend of mine whom I knew would be interested in such a ticket. And with that, I helped Alfie resell his brother’s plane ticket.

I awaited his expression of gratitude. Nothing.

That was an expensive plane ticket. You’re welcome, asshole. I’m a firm believer in karma, but I also believe that it sometimes requires human intervention. I decided to thank myself for my good deed by throwing a party at Alfie’s house in his absence.

But Warren pointed out that no one would come to my stupid party. I’m kind of a loser.

It bothered me that I was seeking retribution. Two individuals had benefited from my action. Why would I resent that? That’s so silly and stupid.

I don’t help many people. I try to keep to myself. To me, helping someone is like an avocado. I have 10 avocados. If I give one away, then I have one less avocado.

By being stingy with my time, I narrowed my mindset to think of acts of kindness as a limited resource, when really they should be an infinite resource.


That’s why I was unhappy. I thought I had lost an avocado. But the ability to help someone is like an avocado tree. As long as I keep getting sunlight and water (and Ramen), I can help as many people as I want without worry of running out. And if I give avocados to everyone, then it won’t matter if one person forgets to thank me.

Now, it’s still not nice to fail to acknowledge a favor. But it’s far worse to resent someone for that failure.

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