People Who Love Quidditch

quidditch is sexy

Hey Katy, Do you want to come play quidditch tomorrow afternoon? I told this guy on the Mtn View quidditch team that I would go try it out. I don’t know why I said I would go, cuz it sounds really stupid. It’s supposed to be like dodgeball with brooms or some shit. God, this sounds so stupid. Please come and pretend to have a stroke so I have an excuse to leave.

Katy refused to join me, but I am a person of my word and thus I went alone.
Quidditch is a game that involves running around chasing a deflated volleyball with a broom grasped between your legs like some sort of phallic security blanket. I guess it’s from Harry Potter, I haven’t seen it so I don’t know.


It also has a devoted following with teams competing in international tournaments. Suprisingly, companies like Nike and Red Bull don’t sponsor quidditch teams. This means players are paying their own way into tournaments. If that isn’t enough of a testament to their commitment, these kids are furthermore cementing the fact that they’ll spend Saturday evenings alone for the rest of eternity.

Maybe in some corner of the universe, quidditch is cool. Despite the fact that I felt like a moron out there, I have to lend these fellows some admiration. They’re running with a sense of purpose. You have to be pretty damn passionate about a sport to gallop around a public park straddling a broomstick.

These guys are traveling around the country to further their cause. They’re getting out and rallying new players (like me!). They are opening themselves up to a lifetime of wedgies and ridicule to pursue their passion. When was the last time you did that for something you believed in?

Rock on, quidditch dudes.

quidditch losers


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