Get a Mac

I got a new Lenovo Thinkpad X230 to replace the computer that I drowned. It came preloaded with Windows 8. I didn’t know it was possible for a dual-core i5 to run slower than snail shit.

I should have listened to my coworkers and gotten a Mac.

What fresh hell is this? Where is my damn start menu? Why are all my applications forced to run full screen?
What fresh hell is this? Where is my damn start menu? Why are all my applications forced to run full screen? Apparently my laptop is now a tablet.
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